he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
