dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize