Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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