I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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