Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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