i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
