Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
