if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
