i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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