??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
