I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
