Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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