im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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