Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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