Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
