Who did Billy Mays play for?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
