kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My pussy is not your playground.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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