I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize