Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
