GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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