you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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