i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
why do cheetos always look like penises
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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