I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
