remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
