I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
