with your own penis?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
