So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
