Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
