he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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