And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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