He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
