Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
