My cat gives me a boner
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
