if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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