i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
