Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
