Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
