Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
