How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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