I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
