If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Bring me that man meat
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
