So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
