He kissed a someone with a penis
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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