No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
