I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize