It's Friday. Sex?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
