That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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