my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
well you can't waste a boner
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
