It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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