You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
