He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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