I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
