She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
