I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
