I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
