Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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