It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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