I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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