this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
