I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
