apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
