Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
