A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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