Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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