If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
