we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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