What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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