The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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