One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
