hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
