ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
