So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm passing your future prison.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
